The People of Table Ferdowsi versus The Bill
Table 1 “Ferdowsi” · 14 November · 6:45 PM
Statement of the Case
On the evening in question, four families — close friends, and therefore the most dangerous kind of co-defendants — did knowingly, willingly and with great enthusiasm consume a dinner. A bill of was subsequently produced.
Nobody disputes the kebab. The kebab was magnificent. The only question before this Court is who owes what, and the Court intends to answer it to the cent.
The short version
For those who trust the Court: stop here. For those who do not: the Court respects that, and has prepared the math.
The Receipt
Entered into evidence without objection, and with a small grease stain.
The Mystery of the Third Yogurt
Exhibit A lists Yogurt & Cucumber. Only have been claimed. The remaining yogurt, valued at , was last seen on the table in the company of a cucumber. It has not been heard from since.
Somebody ate it. Somebody knows. The Court invites you to deliver justice personally.
Findings Against Each Family
Every count itemised. All defendants found guilty of having a lovely time.
The Split, Illustrated
For members of the jury who prefer pictures.
Exhibit B · Share of the bill
Who is responsible for how much of the total.
Exhibit C · Anatomy of each bill
What each family’s total is made of. Tap a segment for details.
The Arithmetic, Under Oath
No number on this page was estimated, rounded for convenience, or “called even”.
How it was split. You pay for what you ordered. The doogh was for the table, so it is split four ways. The tea was poured in five shares and is charged by the share. The third yogurt goes wherever you pinned it.
Final Judgment
It is hereby ordered that the defendants shall pay:
- Settle up with whoever’s card took the hit. Sentences are to be served by bank transfer, promptly, with an emoji of your choosing.
- The yogurt ruling stands as set above: .
- The hosts received the heaviest sentence. This is the ancient law of hosting, and the Court sees no reason to overturn it.
- No appeals. Objections may be raised in person, over the next dinner, which the Court orders to take place soon.
This Court has no legal authority whatsoever. Its arithmetic, however, is binding.